Episode 05: What's Your Something Larger?
There's a lot of research that says meaning and purpose is good for your mental health. But how do we define that? Emily, Amelia, and Moana are here to figure that out.
Found a typo in the transcript? Let us know here.
TRANSCRIPT:
Episode 5: What's Your Something Larger?
Emily Nagoski: [00:00:00] Hey, everybody. It's Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski, and you are listening to the Feminist Survival Project 2020. The podcast for people who believe that being a woman is neither a disease nor a moral failing and who also want to survive through the election of 2020-
Amelia Nagoski: [00:00:22] Shit show that it's going to be.
Emily Nagoski: [00:00:24] One of the primary resources we have in the toolkit for survival that we're creating with this podcast is: meaning and purpose.
Amelia Nagoski: [00:00:33] Which, there's a lot of research that demonstrates that meaning and purpose - having a sense of meaning - for is definitely good for your mental health.
Emily Nagoski: [00:00:41] And...
Amelia Nagoski: [00:00:42] But the way, they never really define "meaning or purpose." They just ask people if they feel like they have meaning and purpose, and people are like, oh, yeah, I definitely do. Or no, but definitely don't. And it's a mess. So we had to come up with a definition distilled from the various pile of messes in the research. And what we came up with is that when you have meaning in your life, you feel like you are part of something larger than yourself.
Emily Nagoski: [00:01:10] You make meaning by engaging with that Something Larger. So, the primary task in order to be able to have meaning and purpose in your life, which is one of your most important tools, is to know what your something larger is.
The really... The way we understand this is through Disney Princess movies, especially Moana. There are critical things to say about Moana, especially from-
Amelia Nagoski: [00:01:36] And a lot of other Disney movies-
Emily Nagoski: [00:01:36] -cultural appropriation. Yeah, there's, yeah. And we want to talk about Moana because it actually does a really good job of this whole meaning and purpose thing.
Amelia Nagoski: [00:01:45] Illustrating being part of something larger.
Emily Nagoski: [00:01:47] The tl;dr of Moana - PS, everybody should watch Moana and I don't know why you haven't yet because, save us Lin-Manuel Miranda, you're our only hope.
Okay. So Moana is the daughter of the village chief of Motunui, this Polynesian Island, several thousand years ago. But she feels called by the ocean to cross it and explore.
And in fact, she is chosen by the ocean in a moment that is defined by a specific musical theme where the ocean chooses her to cross the ocean, find the demigod Maui, and restore the heart of Te Fiti. The heart of Te Fiti is this literal stone, this round stone with a spiral pattern on it that was stolen from Te Fiti, the goddess of life and abundance. So when this blackness starts to kill all the fish and kill all the coconuts and make it so that there's no food, Moana answers the call.
She crosses the ocean. She finds the demigod Maui and she tries to defeat even the worst enemy. The worst enemy at the end is Te Kā the lava monster. And she fails at first and Maui fucking splits. He's like, "Nope, this is too hard. I'm not going to do it" and she's left alone.
And she has this black moment where she sinks into a pit of despair and she tells the ocean to choose someone else. And then her grandmother appears to her as a ghost and says, "Remember who you are." And Moana sings the song,
🎵🎵"Who am I? I'm the daughter of the village chief. We are descended from voyagers. We found our way across the world. They call me. My ancestors call me. I delivered us to where we are. I have journeyed farther. I am everything I've learned and more. Still it calls me. The ocean calls me."
And then she has the revelation. There's a key shift and everything. And she sings,
🎵🎵"But the call isn't out there at all. It's inside me."
Both: [00:04:03] 🎵🎵"It's like the tide. Always falling and Rising."
Emily Nagoski: [00:04:10] And that is the very nature of meaning. The call is- the call is coming from inside the house-
Amelia Nagoski: [00:04:17] But not in a scary way. In, like, a in a good way. A warm, you carry it with you way.
Emily Nagoski: [00:04:23] And listen, Moana is the Maori word for ocean. Disney was not trying to hide this Jungian analysis.
Amelia Nagoski: [00:04:31] It's a metaphor.
Emily Nagoski: [00:04:32] The ocean exists inside her. She is not called by the ocean as something outside herself. She is calling herself. It exists inside her, which is really good news. Because if your something larger is not something out there that calls you, but is something that dwells inside you permanently, it doesn't matter how terrible things are. It doesn't matter how much of a shit show 2020 is. Nothing can disconnect you from your something larger. And so you always have access to meaning and purpose, which is going to help you survive. 2020.
Amelia Nagoski: [00:05:09] Maui bailing is not the first adversity that Moana faces. Even back home on her island of Motunui, her father the chief keeps telling her, "No, no, everything you need is right here. You don't have to go anywhere. We're not going anywhere. It's not safe. Stay here. Stay here. Everything you need is here."
Both: [00:05:27] 🎵🎵"The village of Motunui is all you need..."
Amelia Nagoski: [00:05:31] And it is her grandmother- they refer to her as the village crazy lady- is the only one who supports Moana's exploration of her own sense of calling. Her own identity. So, when the grandmother comes back at the end and Maui leaving is the final thing that, like, makes Moana give up, it is recalling herself that voice of the crazy lady that says, "Oh no, you should be that thing that you feel you are. Remember who you are.
Emily Nagoski: [00:06:01] 🎵🎵"You are your father's daughter, stubbornness and pride. Mind what he says, but remember you may hear a voice inside. And when the voice starts to whisper to follow the farthest star- Moana, that voice inside is who you are."
Amelia Nagoski: [00:06:18] But it's the crazy lady who gives her this message. The Village does not perceive this woman as being someone intelligent and wise and of value.
Emily Nagoski: [00:06:26] Maui does not perceive her as being anyone who can do anything in particular. Why would the ocean choose a curly-haired non princess who can't even sail?
Amelia Nagoski: [00:06:37] So because the meaning, the something larger is something you carry within yourself, it does not matter if the people around you value what that something larger is. You can always go back to it yourself and it will fuel you just as much.
Emily Nagoski: [00:06:52] So, what's your something larger? And if you don't know what your something larger is, how do you find out?
What's your something larger, Amelia?
Amelia Nagoski: [00:06:58] Well, it's complicated. It's kind of just something larger as a vague concept. It manifests as being a conductor. The work I do as a conductor connecting my students with music, connecting myself with them, and myself with the music, and then the audience with all the work we do. It's the same process that I do as an author working on the Burnout stuff, like talking to people about being connected to something larger than themselves, about turning toward their own difficult feelings with kindness and compassion.
It's all the same work. And it's the work that I need. It sounds so complicated. It's basically- the goal is humanity?
Emily Nagoski: [00:07:41] There is this feeling that you have when you do it, that you know that it's the thing that you're doing.
Amelia Nagoski: [00:07:48] Yes. So how I discovered it - I didn't - See, I can't even name it now. I don't even know what it is. It's a sense of like-
Emily Nagoski: [00:07:57] This is like the only example where you had it before I did. You were a kid.
Amelia Nagoski: [00:08:00] Yes, and I was in the 8th grade. No, I didn't get this. What I got was, I was in eighth grade and I would stand listening to the vinyl LP of, like, Phantom of the Opera, waving my arms and, like, pretending to conduct. And I knew I was going to be a conductor. I just knew.
And so for a long time, I thought conducting was my something larger and really when I have to talk about it, like to journalists and stuff, I short-hand it as conducting and music and art, but really it's bigger than that. But conducting was my way in. Conducting was the thing my body recognized as, "Oh, this gets you in the door to this other bigger thing". And I didn't know that for a long time.
But my body knew this is how we're going to step through this door into this larger world.
Emily Nagoski: [00:08:51] Yeah, so it makes sense to me that all the barriers you experienced in your doctoral program, which you described in the very first episode are actually, those are barriers, obstacles, white douchebags who are standing between you and your access to your something larger.
Amelia Nagoski: [00:09:06] Mmm hmm. Mmm hmm.
Emily Nagoski: [00:09:07] So no wonder it felt like so much was at stake, because something was. You need that shit to survive.
Amelia Nagoski: [00:09:12] Yes. And when I talked about anything to do with this, literally word-for-word the feedback I got was, "That's not music."
Are you fucking kidding me? That is- that's the essence of music, like, according to Aristotle and Plato and Pythagoras, that is literally the definition of music.
It's the interaction of humanity with the universe is fundamentally music, but like, apparently if you're a musicologist in the 21st century, the definition of music is just "pitches and rhythms" and that limiting sense of what art is, of what humanity is capable of, felt so shitty because it's not just a dismissal of what the work I do is, but of who I am and who all students are.
Yeah, it was deeply enraging and frustrating and oh my God, are they right? Because these are people in positions of authority. Do they know something that I don't know?
Turns out no. They're white douche bags.
So, that's your father saying the village of Motunui is all you need. Exploration of the ocean doesn't matter
Both: [00:10:18] 🎵🎵"Consider the coconut, the trunks and the leaves, the island gives us what we need."
Amelia Nagoski: [00:10:23] Yeah!
Emily Nagoski: [00:10:24] 🎵🎵 " And no one leaves."
Amelia Nagoski: [00:10:27] Yeah, and and they were saying like, legit, coconuts are all there is.
Emily Nagoski: [00:10:30] Yeah, and Moana in that moment goes, "So here I'll stay."
Amelia Nagoski: [00:10:33] Yeah.
🎵🎵"So here I'll stay..."
Emily Nagoski: [00:10:35] Yeah, my people beside me, I'll build our future together.
Amelia Nagoski: [00:10:38] Yeah. Turns out that's not enough.
Emily Nagoski: [00:10:42] So you figured that out. So you knew how to get there.
Amelia Nagoski: [00:10:46] Yeah, I knew that I was going for something larger and I was denied permission, denied access to that by people in positions of authority.
Emily Nagoski: [00:10:56] So I didn't know anything about this for a long, long time. I only came to articulate my something larger- my something larger is teaching women to live with confidence and joy inside their bodies.
And as you know from the introduction to this podcast, doing this podcast is part of how I survive 2020. Because it's me engaging with my something larger by helping you to live with confidence and joy inside your body. I came to that by reading a book about, like, your personal brand and shit. *laughter* I know.
Yeah, so I -
Amelia Nagoski: [00:11:38] Anything with the word Brand in. It should not be a connection to something larger. That's very surprising.
Emily Nagoski: [00:11:42] Yeah-
Amelia Nagoski: [00:11:43] Guess you never know.
Emily Nagoski: [00:11:44] I had not, like, the way my career happened is: a spotlight would appear ahead of me and I would step into it not knowing where it went. But it was the only spot of light ahead of me. And so of course that's where I went. And then the next spotlight would appear and I would step into it and I had no idea where I was going or why, I was just following the lights that appeared. And so what this book had me do, I have no idea what it was, was go back and trace, like, what was it that I found in each of those steps that made it worthwhile. What was valuable.
I, like, what held all these things together. All of these choices, all of these opportunities that were the right fit for me.
What was it about them that was right and I figured out, oh, what all of these things have in common, everything from basically when I started college to 31 or 32 was... Oh, so whatever I do, I'm teaching women to live with confidence and joy inside their bodies. I see. Now I know. And I figured out what that was by looking at the work and seeing what it was getting me connected with.
Amelia Nagoski: [00:12:53] So, you never had the experience of being enraged and frustrated and stymied from your something larger, because you were literally getting there through doors opening being like, here's something larger come through here. Here's something larger come through here. Here's something larger... And I was like, I can see I have to walk 87 miles and there's 14 doors between here and there. I need to get through those doors. And I had the very clear sense of people standing in front of the doors saying, " You shall not pass."
Emily Nagoski: [00:13:18] Right. Whereas, I, like, bumped into a lot of doors that didn't open-
Amelia Nagoski: [00:13:23] Right, you were like-
Emily Nagoski: [00:13:24] And I was like, "What's going on? I don't understand!" And then a door would open, I would go through it. And like an I'd bop, I'd bounce around in that space and be like, "I don't know what the next step is. I don't know where I'm going. I don't know what this is all for." And the door would open and I would go through it. Yeah and that's how my whole career has worked.
Amelia Nagoski: [00:13:40] So, because you had to read a book and I had, like, an intuitive sense of a thing that I, to this day. still can't name.
For once, I'm the one with the intuitive sense, but it also made my life more frustrating because I had a sense of what it was.
Emily Nagoski: [00:13:53] Totally.
Amelia Nagoski: [00:13:53] Let's talk about how people can figure it out if they're not sure what their something larger is.
Emily Nagoski: [00:13:57] Okay, this is another thing where there actually is research that exists, mostly from positive psychology, which we have critical things to say about, but some of these are really valuable.
Amelia Nagoski: [00:14:05] They haven't defined their terms of- they do set out some very helpful, you know, activities, steps you can take.
Emily Nagoski: [00:14:10] Skills and strategies.
Number one: The one I really liked the most, feels little dark room you say it out loud, but it is to write an obituary. Because one of the definitions-
-of yourself.
Yes, your own obituary. When you die, what do you hope will be said about you? One of the definitions of meaning is the sense that your life has a final ultimate purpose. That you were here for some reason. You were here to do something.
So what is it? When you die, whenever you die, and we're going to have a whole episode about the fact that you're going to die and time affluence and how to plan your life given the fact that you're going to die, what do you hope to be said about you in public? So, this might actually be really surprising. Amelia, when you did it-
Amelia Nagoski: [00:14:56] Yes! My, it was full of Thanksgiving. And cooking with my stepkids, which is not a thing that I ever, ever talk about in real life to anybody, publically, ever, ever, ever, except right now, apparently right now, but...
Yeah, yes, but it, is I do feel like that's part of the other larger something larger, the interaction with - I feel like it's all part of the same thing.
Emily Nagoski: [00:15:24] You raised those kids from when they were really, you were part of their lives-
Amelia Nagoski: [00:15:26] I was definitely part of it, and I, you know.
Emily Nagoski: [00:15:30] Yeah.
And mine, I don't have stepkids and at the time that I was doing my "personal brand strategy" work I wasn't even married. Didn't even have a dog yet.
Amelia Nagoski: [00:15:42] if I had gone through "personal brand strategy," like, the kids would never have been part of a personal brand strategy. And yet when I did the obituary exercise-
Emily Nagoski: [00:15:51] Your kids are what showed up.
Amelia Nagoski: [00:15:53] Yeah.
Emily Nagoski: [00:15:54] So, maybe that's why my something larger is so clearly- but when I look at like, when I feel that experience of being connected to something larger, when I feel the hollow aching of my life feeling too vacant of meaning, because there's a lot of, you have the experience of your life being full of meaning. You have your the experience of your life sort of not having meeting when you're just like running errands or whatever. And then there's the experience of there being an active absence of meaning, where it's missing. There's something not there that you need and a lot of us will try to turn outward to look for what feels like it's missing.
Amelia Nagoski: [00:16:29] Yes.
Emily Nagoski: [00:16:30] When actually it's a thing that exists inside your body no matter what kind of terrible things happen.
Amelia Nagoski: [00:16:34] The most helpful thing for me learning about meaning was recognizing explicitly that meaning is not a thing that you are given or that you discover, meaning is an action that you take. The participation and engagement with something larger than yourself.
I have very rarely felt like I didn't have meaning or purpose in my life, but I have sometimes thought that life seems arbitrary and stupid, and I would think of that as an absence of meaning. But no, it's just yes, sometimes there are arbitrary, stupid things.
Emily Nagoski: [00:17:03] Yeah, sometimes life is arbitrary and stupid.
Amelia Nagoski: [00:17:05] Yeah, but that doesn't mean that you don't have a sense of meaning and purpose, as long as you're still participating and engaging with your something larger.
Emily Nagoski: [00:17:12] So, strategy number one for finding out what your something larger is, if you don't already know, or if you can't identify what things you do to engage with your something larger is to write an obituary or a life summary, if that feels better. Like, when you come to die, if you were going to write a summary of what your life was like and what mattered about you-
Amelia Nagoski: [00:17:29] You want to tell people, here's what mattered to me.
Emily Nagoski: [00:17:31] Yeah.
Amelia Nagoski: [00:17:32] Be aware that a lot of people feel like their something larger is not good enough.
Emily Nagoski: [00:17:37] Yeah.
The village of Motonui is all you need and they feel like that should have been it. That even if a thing feels trite to you or small, we use an example in the book of Sophie attends Star Trek conventions, and she feels really connected to this utopia that is, that is the future version of life in Star Trek. The world might not say that like, oh, yes, that is a legitimate thing to be something larger.
But it can be as long as it makes you feel connected.
Yeah. Well- the attending the conventions is how she engages with her something larger-
Amelia Nagoski: [00:18:07] Exactly.
And her something larger is, like, science for everyone. And dwelling in this fictional future where all of the barriers have already been knocked down is a really, like, joyous way, and I think that's what people dismiss. It should feel like hard work and should be a form of torture to engage with your something larger... No. It is allowed to feel delightful.
It has to be important. Like, you have to cure a disease, you have to- no, not necessarily. No. Uhh uhh.
Emily Nagoski: [00:18:37] So, that's number one. Number two is to ask the people who know you best. Your best friends, your partner, your kids, your parents, whoever you feel like can answer the question, "When I am at my best, what am I doing? When I am most wholy myself, what am I doing?"
There are not many people in my life would be able to answer this question. I don't even know- Could you, like, answer that question? Because I, like, I would definitely, if you ask me that question, I would be like, that would be when you're conducting or doing score analysis. That's when you're you, when you're not fighting yourself anymore.
Amelia Nagoski: [00:19:15] Yeah, that's true. Yeah, it's complicated because when you are yourself is a complicated question. Like, who is the self and who is you? And is it just a matter of when you feel comfortable or when you thrive or what? Yeah. So, it's going to be a conversation, not just a- somebody's not going to come up and be like, "Oh, I know exactly when that is."
You're going to have to explore what it means to be you.
Emily Nagoski: [00:19:41] Yeah.
Amelia Nagoski: [00:19:42] Which is also a worthwhile thing to do.
Emily Nagoski: [00:19:44] One of the ways to think about this is in the context of flow. There's this whole big body of research, it's a very popular body of research. You've probably heard other people before us pronounce the name Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, who is this researcher who invented this word "flow" to describe the experience of disappearing into the work you're doing. Where it's just difficult enough to engage your attention without feeling frustrated. We're going to talk about that in the next episode.
So, when you experience flow of disappearing into your work and it just being difficult enough to engage your attention without making you feel frustrated, that's how you engage with your something larger. That's how you know, it's your you.
Amelia Nagoski: [00:20:22] Yeah.
Emily Nagoski: [00:20:23] And then the third strategy is to imagine you have a friend who is really struggling to feel like life has any meaning or purpose and wants to engage. What as your best self, are you going to say to a friend who has that hollow, vacant feeling that life has no meaning and no purpose? And then you write that letter. And then you read it back out loud because it's a letter to you.
Those are three strategies that the research suggests are effective at figuring out what your something larger is, even when you don't know.
Amelia Nagoski: [00:21:02] And how you can create for yourself the sense of being connected to something larger.
Emily Nagoski: [00:21:06] So there's two skills. There's knowing what your something larger is and knowing what behaviors help you to engage with your something larger, because one of the metaphors we cut from the book because really didn't work is the idea of meaning is your Vitamin Why. Get it? Vitamin Why? And we have this metaphor that it's like leafy greens.
The mere existence of leafy greens is not enough to nourish you. You have to engage with your something larger. You have to engage with the greens.
And one of the things that's most important is recognizing that even when terrible things happen, because your something larger is not a thing out there- it might look like it something out there. The ocean might look like it's out there. It might sound like it's calling you from the outside, but actually it's coming from the inside. When terrible things happen, you recognize that it's inside you and nothing can separate you. Like, when Moana's grandmother, the village crazy lady comes back as a ghost and nudges her to remember who she is, Moana recognizes the call isn't out there at all.
It's inside me. Coming from her own heart. She's not the chosen one because something outside her chose her and called her across the distance. But because something in her own heart was calling. And so without even knowing it was happening, she chose herself. Again, Moana is the Maori word for ocean.
It's a nice literal lesson. Whatever calls you, whether it's the ocean or art or your kids or democracy or teaching women to live with confidence and joy inside their bodies, it's not outside you. It's inside you. Your family lives in your heart, democracy lives in your heart, the ocean, the art, confidence and joy live inside you. And sometimes terrible things happen that threaten to separate us from our something larger, but no matter what happens, human giver syndrome is a key thing that will interfere here.
It might be natural disasters. It might be acts of violence, disease, loss. Nothing stands between you and your something larger.
Amelia Nagoski: [00:23:09] As a conductor, I have a kind of a weird job because, especially as a conductor of student and amateur choirs, many of my singers engage with their something larger by coming to sing in my choir and what I'm doing is facilitating their connection with something larger.
So, I hear a lot of people coming in- they're miserable, they're stressed, and they kind of want to just curl up in bed and hide for a while, but they come to rehearsal and they sing and they participate with this other group of people and we make music together and whichever aspect of that they would call their something larger, they're engaging with it and they make it and they feel better when they leave rehearsal having spent time not dealing with the things that are causing their stress, but by managing how bad they feel by reminding themselves that they're part of something larger
It's amazing to be a part of that.
Emily Nagoski: [00:24:01] And like all the cycles and rhythms we describe in the podcast, stress is a cycle. We're going to talk about how connection is a cycle. Meaning comes and goes. It's like the tide, always rising and falling, but nothing and no one can ever separate you. So, we're going to tell a fairly dark story. A public example of someone engaging with their something larger through their work. In her memoir of her body, Roxane Gay, in her book Hunger, she tells the story of being- this is where it gets super dark. Just letting you know ahead of time.
Amelia Nagoski: [00:24:32] It was a content warning. Let's officially just make this up. Yeah.
Emily Nagoski: [00:24:35] Yeah, if you skip the next 30 seconds if you like. She was taken to a cabin in the woods by a boy she was dating where a group of boys held her down and raped her. It's a terrible thing that happens. Because of human giver syndrome, givers are expected by human beings, which is what those boys were, to cede control of their limbs, their insides. Nobody in that group who assaulted her hated her. Nobody was mad. They just believed they had a right to her body. Even if she screamed.
Well, they did it and so, she screamed at first and then she stopped screaming. And she was 12 years old.
No decent human being can hear a story like that and feel that what happened was right, but a lot of well-meaning people will try to impose meaning on it. As if she's engaging with her something larger through an act of violence.
We reject that entirely. What can the sexual assault of a child ever mean? We've seen in other episodes, including especially The Abyss, that isolation and helplessness are the worst experiences we can have and they are the opposite of meaning. They are how meaning drains out of our lives. Which makes this terrible thing the opposite of meaningful. Meaning isn't made by the terrible things that happened to us. Meaning is made by the people to whom terrible things happen, when they engage with the something larger which exists inside them and cannot be touched by those terrible things.
And Roxane Gay, through her writing, engages with her something larger, which makes meaning and no terrible thing can stop her. Through her meaning-making, she creates space for other people to whom terrible things have happened to tell their stories. To feel that they are not alone. To recognize that even through adversity, their something larger waits inside them. It's not going to go anywhere. It is not Roxane Gay's job to create
that space, it never was. But that space is just what happens when a person to whom terrible things have happened makes art by engaging with their something larger and puts it into the world. Your something larger lives inside you.
Maybe everyone disagrees. Maybe your family wants you to stay home. Or leave home. Maybe even your mentors are skeptical and only the village crazy lady agrees with you.
But you hear it. Over the noise of human giver syndrome in your brain, through the screaming agony of violence and injustice, you know. You can hear the call in your heart.
And we know it too. To paraphrase Maui to Moana, "We got your back, Chosen One. Go save the world."
And that is this episode of the Feminist Survival Project 2020.
If any part of this was written, it was written by us, Emily Nagoski-
And Amelia Nagoski.
To the extent that it was produced, it was produced by my marital euphemism. Amelia did the music.
Amelia Nagoski: [00:27:44] And we do have a meaning song that I wrote back when there is a metaphor about Vitamin Why and the leafy greens.
Because Emily said, "It's like cabbage" and I was like, "You can spell the notes of cabbage on a musical staff."
So, I wrote a cabbage song-
Emily Nagoski: [00:27:57] And then it turned out cabbage is not a leafy green. It's a cruciferous vegetable. Yeah, so the whole thing fell apart.
Amelia Nagoski: [00:28:02] But we still like the song. It's a memorable song to help you remember what the results are and the feelings are of having meaning and purpose in your life.
Emily Nagoski: [00:28:10] Go ahead and get your ukulele, or as Moana would say, "ukulele."
Amelia Nagoski: [00:28:17] Would she, though?
Emily Nagoski: [00:28:18] I don't know.
Amelia Nagoski: [00:28:18] Ukulele is a Portuguese word. I learned this from a friend of mine whose Hawaiian, but ukulele is actually a Portuguese word.
So you don't have to pronounce it like it's Polynesian. It goes-
🎵🎵 C-A-B-B-A-G-E - Meaning is a leafy green.
🎵🎵 Grow it yourself by listening, play or connect or sing with me. Leaving a legacy behind or heeding the goal to serve mankind. Or loving someone, loving someone.
🎵🎵 C-A-B-B-A-G-E - Meaning is a leafy green.
That's the worst I've ever played that song, ever.
I made so many mistakes. I'm sorry.
Emily Nagoski: [00:29:08] Should we keep it, though?
Amelia Nagoski: [00:29:09] I think we should just keep it. Let me play it again, like really well, so you can keep that. You can just stop. We hope this helped if it did and you find yourself wanting to have a conversation about it with other exhausted feminists in your life, please share it
Emily Nagoski: [00:29:21] And then I hope you'll join us for another episode next week, when we're going to talk about frustration.
Amelia Nagoski: [00:29:27] In the meantime, I'm going to do a second take on the Cabbage song
🎵🎵 C-A-B-B-A-G-E - Meaning is a leafy green.
Emily Nagoski: [00:29:37] Made any mistakes yet?
Amelia Nagoski: [00:29:38] No!
Emily Nagoski: [00:29:38] Keep going!
Amelia Nagoski: [00:29:39] 🎵🎵 Grow it yourself by listening, play or connect or sing with me. Leaving a legacy behind, or heeding the call to serve mankind. Or loving someone. That's enough.
🎵🎵 C-A-B-B-A-G-E - Meaning is a leafy green.
I tried.
That's what matters.